


Another Star Wars Groupchat

by Alec_Brimstone5381



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fanart, Fluff, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, More tags to be added, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Own artwork, Texting, everything is stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alec_Brimstone5381/pseuds/Alec_Brimstone5381
Summary: Here goes nothing! I'm so open to ideas.Obi-Wan: How do you remove someone from a group?Ahsoka: …Obi-Wan: Hypothetically.Cody has sent a videoAhsoka: too late master
Comments: 12
Kudos: 193





	1. Old Man Anakin

**Ahsoka has created a new chat**

**Ahsoka has renamed the chat: Ahsoka Has Common Sense**

Ahsoka: I am so sick and tired of telling one of you important information and then having to REPEAT it because you guys are too dumb to communicate with each other ☹

Anakin:…

Obi-wan: An intuitive idea Ahsoka.

Anakin:…

Anakin: You do realise she just called us dumb, master.

Ahsoka: OH sorry, _master._ Shall I re-word?

Anakin: no wait

Ahsoka: With the utmost respect masters Kenobi and Skywalker, I have decided to create a group chat in order to effectively share crucial information between the three of us and avoid potentially life threatening incidents such as the mission last week, which could have been avoided if u both weren’t TOO KRIFFING DUMB TO TALK TO EACH OTHER

Obi-wan: ☹

Anakin: how do u type so fast

Ahsoka: Practice old man

Anakin: i am literally only 5 years older than u

Ahsoka: practically senile

Anakin: I’m in the prime of my life!

Ahsoka: I can see your life force fading away master

Ahsoka: oh… oh no…. its’s going

Ahsoka: going…

Ahsoka: gone.

Anakin: :’(

Obi-Wan: What does that make me? A fossil?

Anakin: more like an antique teapot

Ahsoka: hmm…

* * *

**Ahsoka has added Rex to the chat**

**Ahsoka has added Cody to the chat**

Anakin: I thought this was supposed to be for effective communication between the three of us

Ahsoka: yeah, but Cody has a video to send and I couldn’t add him without adding Rex

Rex: Damn right kid

Ahsoka: I’m older than u

Rex: In years perhaps,

Rex: kid.

Ahsoka: I’m hurt and offended. What did I ever do to deserve such raw hate?

Anakin: whats the video?

Rex: sweet child may u remain innocent.

Cody: Hi everyone

Ahsoka: Hi Cody!

Rex: I know I’m sitting next to u right now but hi

Obi-Wan: Welcome Cody.

Anakin: what video?

Rex: *facepalms*

Ahsoka: Impatient you are, Skywalker. Meditate on your actions, you must.

Rex: I haven’t seen this video yet- all I know it’s something to do with General Kenobi

Ahsoka: You see now why they had to be added??

Obi-Wan: How do you remove someone from a group?

Ahsoka: …

Obi-Wan: Hypothetically.

**Cody has sent a video**

Ahsoka: too late master

_The video is from Cody’s perspective and is zoomed in on one of the smaller entrances to the Jedi temple, through which Obi-wan is shuffling awkwardly. He seems to be carrying something under his Jedi robes and looks around suspiciously before striding off down a corridor. The camera follows quietly at a distance until Cody’s voice breaks through the silence with a ‘Greeting General Kenobi!’ Obi-wan jumps and from under his robes several boxes tumble out onto the floor. The camera zooms into several boxes of Alderaan’s finest tea, and cuts out just as obi wan lets out a pained yelp of distress._

Ahsoka: FGHOGUDK

Ahsoka: im DYING

Anakin: lol only you would have such guilt over tea master

Obi-wan: I was simply picking up supplies from Coruscant market.

Ahsoka: he was acting like he was smuggling SPICE!!!! KRIFFIN TXFLknadkepw

Cody: Obi-wan off to get that TEA:

Cody: I have no remorse

Rex: I have no response

Ahsoka: I have no shame

Anakin: I have no sanity

Obi-wan: …

Obi-wan: I have no desire to remain friends with any of you.

**Anakin has changed Obi-wan’s user name to KenobiKindaSus**

**KenobiKindaSus has gone offline**


	2. Kriffing Explosions

Anakin: good morning! What a beautiful day and where is my wonderful padawan?

Ahsoka:…

Ahsoka: I’m sorting cargo with Rex. _Right Rex?_

Cody: Rex is getting food in the canteen…

Anakin: AHSOKA!

Ahsoka: I feel #betrayed

Ahsoka: Cody, I looked up to you, I respected you, I would go so far as to call you a responsible father figure in my life and now I don’t know whether I feel the same…

Cody: yeah. My bad, turns out it was just someone that looked like rex.

Cody: Which is totally plausible.

Cody: Because we’re all identical.

Ahsoka: <3

Anakin: IM COMING TO FIND YOU RIGHT NOW AHSOKA TANO AND YOU’D BETTER BE WHERE YOU SAY YOU ARE

**Anakin has gone offline**

Ahsoka: Oh kriff guys

Ahsoka: gotta dash

**Ahsoka has gone offline**

Cody: Good luck kid.

* * *

KenobiKindaSus: Gentlemen, I hate to distract you but I have a question now that children have gone.

Rex: Have you just been lurking there General, waiting to slip in?

KenobiKindaSus: No comment.

Cody: What do you require assistance with General Kenobi?

Cody: We’ll be happy to help

KenobiKindaSus: Obi-wan is fine, especially in these more than informal settings.

Rex: of course general

Rex: sorry, habit sir

Rex: Obi-wan

Cody: Certainly, Obi-wan

KenobiKindaSus: Well, the issue is, I’ve been struggling for quite some time now to change my user name back to its previous settings.

Cody: Ah

KenobiKindaSus: I’m afraid I’ve had little luck.

Rex: Click the three dots in the top corner,

Rex: then the tiny floating planet- there should be a setting there

KenobiKindaSus:…

KenobiKindaSus: It just keeps repeating that Ahsoka Tano has locked groupchat name.

Cody: XD

Rex: lol

Cody: I’m afraid there’s little we can do to help

Rex: I’d suggest bribery. But that’s probs against the Jedi code

Rex: but if u change ur mind her favourite sweets are Nabooian BonBons

KenobiKindaSus: I’ll consider your suggestion thank you Rex.

* * *

**Anakin has sent an image**

Anakin: That’s what naughty Padawans get when they mess with the modifications on their master’s cruisers.

KenobiKindaSus: Are you forgetting your entire childhood with me?

Anakin: I almost DIED

Rex: Ahsoka says you’re exaggerating

Rex: Apparently it was a slight acceleration into a solid substance.

Anakin: I was rocket propelled into a concrete structure at kriffing LIGHT SPEED.

Anakin: THERE WERE EXPLOSIONS

KenobiKindaSus: Remember that time when you removed the breaks of a landspeeder because they, quote: “were slowing us down”

KenobiKindaSus: Ringing any bells?

KenobiKindaSus: Anakin?

Anakin: Rex you can tell Ahsoka she’s not getting her datapad or comm links back until she’s fully meditated on her actions.

KenobiKindaSus: Sometimes I wonder if anything I say even leaves my mouth.

Anakin: And Rex?

Rex: Yes sir?

Anakin: No holo-chess

Rex: Certainly sir.

**Cody has sent an image**

Anakin: YOU’RE BOTH IN TIME OUT!!!!!!!

KenobiKindaSus: Your control and command over your unit is remarkable Anakin.


	3. Anakin doesn't have a Planakin

KenobiKindaSus: Where is Anakin?

Rex: Last seen 400 units North, General.

Rex: Lost track amongst the blaster fire.

**KenobiKindaSus has gone offline**

Ahsoka: Was that Anakin? :0

Rex: The explosion?

Ahsoka: yeah?

Rex: Let’s think:

Rex: It was a giant, unplanned explosion, which has blown up Separatist and Republic space alike, coming from Skywalker’s last known location.

Rex: No, I’m guessing it was a Wookie.

Ahsoka: :/

Ahsoka: He’s not answering his comm

Cody: Good news! The clankers are retreating on our western bases!

Ahsoka: Does Master Kenobi know where Anakin is?

Cody: General Kenobi left in a hurry 5 minutes ago.

Cody: Why?

Ahsoka: Did you not hear the explosion?

Ahsoka: I’m worried

Ahsoka: What if they didn’t have a plan

Rex: Kid, I’m coming to find you,

Rex: We’ll head to their last known location

Rex: And don’t worry, kid,

Rex: I’ve never known Skywalker to have a plan, and he seems to muddle himself out of a kriff ton of bantha shit alright

Ahsoka: You’re right rex

Ahsoka: I see u now

Cody: Good luck,

**Ahsoka has gone offline**

**Rex has gone offline**

KenobiKindaSus: >:(

Ahsoka: Oh kriff it’s the legendary face of disappointment

Ahsoka: wait let me guess who it's aimed at

Ahsoka: is it…

Ahsoka: my idiot of a master?

Anakin: Harsh snips.

Ahsoka: am I wrong tho

KenobiKindaSus: no

Anakin: IT WAS ALL JUST BAD TIMING

KenobiKindaSus: You rigged timed explosives, then got ourselves captured with no way of deactivating them.

Anakin: You’re just mad because it singed your new Jedi robes

KenobiKindaSus: They’re incredibly difficult to get the right fit.

Anakin: then maybe you shouldn’t discard them before every fight

KenobiKindaSus: They restrict movement in more difficult duels.

Anakin: Liar. You think it looks dramatic when you shrug them off.

Cody: …

Anakin: Last week you literally flung them in Grievous’s face

KenobiKindaSus: It was an effective distraction manoeuvre.

Anakin: YOU DIDN’T EVEN USE IT AS A DISTRACTION! YOU JUST STOOD THERE WITH THE WIND BLOWING THROUGH YOUR HAIR

Ahsoka: tbh tho, that itself was probably an effective technique

Ahsoka: Greivous has such an angsty droid crush on u

Anakin: I’m just saying, master, you don’t have a leg to stand on here.

Ahsoka: he probably kept the robe

Ahsoka: Cries himself to sleep on it

Rex: do clankers sleep?

KenobiKindaSus: Anakin! It wasn’t just about the robes! Your plan involved recklessly putting yourself and I in a potentially life threatening situation in order to distract attention away from your planted bomb!

Anakin: er…

Anakin: I wouldn’t say that the getting captured bit was… part of my plan?

KenobiKindaSus: ANAKIN!

Ahsoka: oooooh shiiittt:

**Ahsoka has changed Anakin’s name to AntiPlanakin**

Rex: But seriously, do clankers sleep?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please put any suggestions in the comments!


End file.
